Advice to My Twenty-Two-Year-Old Self

Looking back at how I’ve changed since I was twenty-two has made me realise there was so much I didn’t need to worry about — and perhaps some things I should have. This blog answers the questions my twenty-two-year-old self might have asked my future self, now that I’m a little wiser.

I thought I’d be working for the EU by now, or perhaps directing films. Just thinking about that now makes me burst out laughing — knowing how my interests have evolved over the past twenty years, I can’t help but ask myself, `What was I thinking?'

I’m always reminded of the saying, `If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans'. I’m not particularly religious, but it rings true. In my twenties, I had no idea how much I would grow and change as a person, or that my values and dreams wouldn’t stay the same.

I’ve done so many things that were never part of the plan — teaching, living in Italy, working in China, learning to play the guitar, fencing, practising tai chi, and blogging. In fact, it’s been far more than I ever imagined.

You may not be who you think you are; people change with age and experience. The views and opinions you currently hold dear will be challenged in the years to come. You’ll develop interests in things you once swore you'd never care about. Be flexible with the plans you make, and remember: you don’t need to be supremely confident to reach your goals — just supremely courageous.

On your journey, try not to focus solely on the destination; make a conscious effort to celebrate where you are, too. You’re always doing better than you think.

Even in those moments when you’re sat in an office, bored out of your mind, covering someone’s Christmas holiday and thinking, `Oh my goodness, I’ve got a degree — is this what it’s come to?'— remind yourself: you’re doing the best you can with the experience you have at this point. Sometimes, we don’t need to know exactly what’s unfolding. That’s okay.

It’s a waste of time comparing yourself to others — not only is it exhausting, but it can easily lead to discouragement and self-doubt. And something called social media will always make it look as if everyone else is having a better time than you… They probably are… So what? You never know who’s looking at you and thinking that you have it all. Just carry on doing your thing.

People will come and go in your life — new friends, new colleagues — some will stay for a few years, others far longer than you ever expected. You’ll learn more about yourself and your values when you encounter `challenging' people who push your buttons. Surprisingly, they’ll often turn out to be your greatest teachers.

The more curious you are about learning new things, the wider your circle of friends will become. This broader network will give you a greater perspective on life and attitudes — and you’ll have far more to talk about!

Some of the greatest lessons you’ll have to learn — and keep learning — is that nobody else is responsible for your happiness. It’s a tough truth to accept, but a valuable one nonetheless. Try to be grateful for what’s good in your life, even the simplest things. That won’t always be easy, especially when you’re in a job you don’t enjoy, struggling with debt, or facing a long period of unemployment.

Also, remember that dreams can be realised in many different ways. I always wanted to be a writer. For years, I thought that because I hadn’t written the novel I’d been carrying around in my head, I wasn’t one. But here we are — writing. Being open to new ways of doing things will make your pursuit of those long-held goals a far more tolerable — and interesting — journey.